Film Review: The Chrysanthemum Variations

Film Review: The Chrysanthemum Variations

★★★★½ (4.5/5)

With The Chrysanthemum Variations, director Aurelio Draegert has created a work so audacious, so formally perverse, that it hovers perilously between transcendent cinema and an elaborate act of aesthetic trolling. Yet, by some alchemy of vision and restraint, it achieves the former. This is a film that must be seen to be believed.

The narrative is fragmented across three temporal planes. In 18th-century Kyoto, a blind embroiderer (played by Min-Jae Han, in a performance of hypnotic stillness) crafts chrysanthemums that seem to foretell the deaths of his patrons. In 1920s Vienna, a young mathematician (Tilda Marenko, all angular fragility) attempts to decode the embroiderer’s patterns, convinced they contain hidden codes. And in present-day São Paulo, a cellist (Diego Alvarado, radiating quiet ferocity) performs a concerto said to be derived from those same patterns, his music fracturing the boundaries between memory and hallucination.

What Draegert achieves through this triadic structure is less a story than a fugue. Time itself becomes thematic material, folded and refracted, each epoch echoing the others. The editing is startlingly contrapuntal: a candle extinguished in Kyoto cuts to a gaslamp flaring in Vienna, which dissolves into the neon pulse of São Paulo. Narrative causality is irrelevant; resonance is everything.

The cinematography by Linnea Volk is nothing short of delirious. Scenes are lit almost exclusively by single, fragile sources,candles, lanterns, matchsticks,rendering entire sequences in chiaroscuro so stark they resemble Caravaggio paintings animated. In one sequence, Alvarado’s cello bow disintegrates mid-performance, each horsehair filmed in slow motion as though it were the unraveling of the cosmos itself.

Sound, too, is weaponized. Composer Katerine Shu interlaces baroque motifs, aleatory shrieks, and long passages of near-silence. The concerto at the film’s centre lasts twenty-three minutes uninterrupted, daring the audience to endure it as ritual rather than spectacle. Whispers in Japanese, German, and Portuguese overlap across timelines, creating a polyglot murmuration that hovers at the edge of intelligibility.

To describe The Chrysanthemum Variations as “avant-garde” is almost banal; it is more accurate to call it metaphysical cinema, a meditation on the permeability of time and the futility of human attempts to impose order on chaos. One thinks of Tarkovsky’s temporal sculpting, Resnais’ labyrinthine memory-plays, even the ritualized austerity of Béla Tarr,but Draegert pushes further, past homage into the territory of the unbelievable.

And yet, despite its enormity, the film is never sterile. It is haunted by grief, by the inexorable pull of mortality. Han’s blind embroiderer, in particular, communicates through silence and gesture a philosophy of resignation so profound it verges on the sacred. By the final scene,an impossible montage in which chrysanthemums embroidered centuries ago seem to bloom in real time on the damp walls of Alvarado’s São Paulo rehearsal room,the spectator is left not with resolution, but with awe.

At 3 hours 49 mins, this is not a film for casual viewing. It demands stamina, patience, and a willingness to surrender reason. But for those who submit, The Chrysanthemum Variations is nothing less than a revelation. Its ambition teeters on the edge of madness, yet its execution is astonishingly assured. A film that frankly feels at once impossible and inevitable.

Film Review: Ashes of Meridian

Film Review: Ashes of Meridian

★★☆☆☆ (2/5)

There is no question that Mara Luyten’s Ashes of Meridian aspires to the heights of Antonioni and Tarkovsky. Its stately long takes, sepulchral silences, and ostentatious framing are clearly intended to place it within the canon of austere European modernism. The problem is not ambition, but execution: for all its grandeur, the film collapses under the weight of its own pretensions.

At 191 minutes, Ashes of Meridian is a punishing experience,not in the productive, revelatory way its admirers claim, but in the sense of sheer tedium. The camera lingers endlessly on empty corridors and half-demolished buildings, as though duration alone were equivalent to profundity. Scenes drag past the point of meaning, demanding patience but offering precious little in return.

Eliza Kontos, a performer of immense subtlety in other contexts, is here reduced to a cipher. Her Alina registers as little more than a vessel for long silences and cryptic glances, her grief intellectualized to the point of emotional nullity. Adrien Vale fares somewhat better, but his archivist is given so little to do that his presence verges on ornamental. The much-praised “chemistry” between them is more imagined than felt; they move through the frame like curators of a museum no one visits.

The film’s most lauded moment,the projection of archival footage against collapsing architecture,epitomizes its weaknesses. Yes, the metaphor is clear, even heavy-handed: memory dissolving in real time. But the image is so baldly symbolic, so desperate in its reach for profundity, that it risks parody. One is reminded less of Antonioni’s enigmatic poetics than of a graduate thesis in visual anthropology.

Sound design, too, is freighted with self-conscious significance. Every scrape of paper and footstep is presented as if imbued with metaphysical weight. The absence of a proper score might be celebrated by devotees as ascetic rigor, but in practice it registers as a refusal to engage the audience’s emotional faculties.

There is, of course, an audience for this kind of cinema: the highbrow festival-goer eager to equate austerity with intelligence, opacity with depth. But strip away the rhetoric, and what remains is a hollow experience: a film that confuses stillness for seriousness, erasure for revelation.

Luyten is undeniably talented,her eye for composition is rigorous, her control over atmosphere impressive. Yet Ashes of Meridian ultimately feels less like a work of art than an act of curatorial self-display, a film that wants to be studied rather than seen. To recommend it unreservedly would be to mistake endurance for insight.

Tinsel, Temporal Loops, and the Televisual Sublime: Christmas TV

Tinsel, Temporal Loops, and the Televisual Sublime: Christmas TV

To speak of Christmas television is not merely to catalogue schedules or to rank puddings of content by their calorific familiarity. It is, rather, to engage in a seasonal phenomenology: a study of how the nation, draped in LED lights and post-banquet exhaustion, gathers before the softly humming altar of the television set and submits itself to televisual ritual with an almost liturgical seriousness.

Christmas TV is the last truly shared national hallucination. In an era of algorithmic splintering, where one household contains five screens and several personalised realities, Christmas Day remains that strange temporal anomaly in which we agree, collectively and without complaint, to watch whatever is on. This is not passivity; it is civic duty.

The Tyranny of Comfort

The Christmas schedules this year continue their long-standing commitment to weaponised cosiness. The aesthetic is one of aggressive reassurance. Everything is warm, rounded, and narratively inevitable. Plotlines are resolved with the firmness of a well-tucked-in duvet. Even murder mysteries soften their edges; corpses are discovered in snowdrifts, murderers apologise in advance.

And yet it would be an horrific intellectual mistake to dismiss this as mere lowbrow sedation. Christmas television is anti-television television. It rejects suspense, subversion, and ambiguity precisely because the rest of the year has overdosed on them. This is a counter-cultural act. In 2025, to watch a two-hour festive special where nothing truly bad happens is a radical refusal of permanent crisis.

The Christmas Special as Metaphysical Event

The British Christmas special remains a curious hybrid form: part epilogue, part resurrection. Characters return from cancellation, actors visibly older but spiritually frozen in amber, and storylines are reanimated like benevolent ghosts. The special does not advance narrative time; it folds it. Sitcoms in particular achieve a kind of seasonal Platonism. The characters do not grow; they recur. Their Christmas episodes function like medieval mystery plays, repeating the same moral truths (family matters; work does not; misunderstandings will be resolved by puddingtime) with only minor variations in jumper design.

In 2025, the self-awareness has become almost scholastic. Jokes now reference the fact that they are Christmas jokes referencing other Christmas jokes from 1997. This is not laziness; it is intertextual hibernation.

Let us take the game show, traditionally padded out to grotesque lengths at Christmas, like a turkey fed entirely on celebrity anecdotes. The Christmas edition is often derided as pointless. On the contrary, it is a pure distillation of the genre. The stakes are removed, revealing the structure beneath: humans performing mild humiliation in exchange for validation and canapé-level prizes.

Viewed through a critical lens, this is Durkheimian ritual. The audience watches vaguely famous people fail at trivial tasks, thereby reaffirming social cohesion.

Reality TV Christmas specials, meanwhile, achieve an almost Brechtian alienation. Contestants return, emotionally rearranged but spiritually unchanged, to remind us that growth is temporary and branding is forever.

And then, mercifully, there are the films, those carefully placed monuments of cinematic competence amid the tinsel-flavoured chaos.

In 2025, the schedules still rightly revere It’s a Wonderful Life, which functions less as a film and more as an annual moral calibration device. Its black-and-white austerity feels increasingly radical in a hyper-saturated age. Watching it is like drinking cold water after a month of mulled wine.

Paddington 2 remains a quiet masterpiece, smuggled into Christmas afternoons under the guise of family fluff. Its formal elegance, ethical seriousness, and commitment to kindness render it almost dangerously sincere. Scholars will one day argue that it is the definitive British film of the early 21st century, and they will be correct.

The dependable presence of The Muppet Christmas Carol continues to baffle and delight. It is, inexplicably, the most faithful Dickens adaptation ever made, a fact that says troubling things about both literature and felt.

And late at night, when the household has thinned and only the ones no one likes are left in the Quality Street box, one might find Die Hard or Gremlins,those annual reminders that Christmas cinema is not about snow, but about containment: people trapped in spaces, confronting chaos, longing for home.

Streaming’s Polite Defeat

By 2025, the streamers have learned that Christmas cannot be conquered. They can produce glossy festive content, but it lacks the essential ingredient: inevitability. There is something existentially reassuring about knowing that this film will be on that channel at this time, regardless of taste or consent.

Linear television, long pronounced dead, survives Christmas precisely because it removes choice. Choice is exhausting. Christmas TV says: Lie down. This is happening now.

Christmas television is excessive, repetitive, emotionally blunt, and aesthetically unambitious. It is also one of the few remaining cultural practices that values togetherness over optimisation.

We must recognise that beneath the glitter and the recycled panel shows lies a quiet social contract: once a year, we will stop demanding novelty. We will watch familiar faces do familiar things. We will agree, temporarily, on what matters.

And then, sometime around 9:47pm, someone will put on a film everyone has already seen, half the room will fall asleep, and the television, faithful, absurd, and humming softly, will continue, broadcasting comfort into the dark.

Fruntlar Review Roundup: The Film No One Understands, Literally

Fruntlar Review Roundup: The Film No One Understands, Literally

Written in his new language Zarvox, Damien Holt’s much-hyped Fruntlar: A Zarvoxian Love Story premiered last night at the Leicester Square Odeon to what could be generously described as “bewildered applause.” Audience members staggered out into the night muttering things that may have been in Zarvox or simply the verbal aftermath of mild concussion.

Below is a collection of early reviews:

The Whitby & Berwick Times , ★☆☆☆☆

“Imagine Casablanca, but every word is replaced with a sound like a broken vacuum cleaner inhaling through a harmonica. The cinematography is beautiful, but I cannot in good conscience recommend a film that made me leave the cinema feeling as though my inner ear had been reprogrammed.”

The Liverpudlian Guardian , ★★☆☆☆

“A bold, uncompromising experiment in language and love. Unfortunately, without subtitles, the viewer must rely on tone, facial expressions and the occasional interpretive eyebrow semaphore. After 127 minutes, I wasn’t quite sure whether someone had just died or just really disliked soup.”

Filmic Magazine , ★★★☆☆

“There is something hypnotic about the guttural crescendos and whistling sibilants of Zarvox, particularly in the rain-soaked spoon-fight scene. However, I could have done without the 14-minute unbroken shot of two characters chanting the word for ‘fish’ until they passed out.”

Rotten Tangerines Audience Comment

“I took my girlfriend to see Fruntlar. As a linguist she loved the film and is now studying Zarvoxian for three hours everyday. She learns in a fully immersive way and will only converse with me in Zarvoxian, so now I have to learn it too. Thanks a lot Damien.

Local Blogger , ★½☆☆☆

“Halfway through, a man behind me shouted, ‘Speak English!’ and a group of Holt’s devoted students responded in unison with a nasal consonant cluster that made him drop his popcorn. It was the most dramatic moment of the night.”

Damien Holt’s Official Response

“Art is about provoking emotion, and if confusion is an emotion, then Fruntlar is already the most successful film in history.”

Award season will soon be with us. It will be interesting to see if Fruntlar wins any prizes.

Follow up letter: The latest in the Deon Jakari Affair

Follow up letter: The latest in the Deon Jakari Affair

Subject: Your Libellous Review of My Client

Dear Sir,

I am frankly appalled by your continued refusal to reply to me and retract the scandalous falsehoods you published about my client, Mr. Deon Jakari. Your so-called “review” is nothing more than a hatchet job, dripping with elitist sneering and a blatant disregard for the cultural revolution currently taking place on TikTok.

Let me make this perfectly clear: Deon is not merely a “cultural commentator”,he is a cultural architect. His short-form video on “Why the Mona Lisa Would Be Fitter With Sunglasses” reached 4.8 million views in 24 hours. That’s more people than will set foot in the Louvre this year.

You dismiss his Panini football sticker collection as somehow inferior to the works in a gallery. Well, has a gallery ever released a limited-edition holographic Zinedine Zidane? Furthermore, each of Deon’s football binders is accompanied by a playlist from the year of the tournament and a scented candle carefully chosen to evoke the “aesthetic” of that tournament. If that is not curatorial excellence, I don’t know what is.

I am therefore putting you on notice: unless a full apology is issued within 48 hours, I will have no choice but to escalate this issue, giving the truth to some of Deon’s TikTok friends. They have many millions of followers. We will also be considering a Change.org petition entitled “Justice for Deon.”

I urge you to reconsider your position before you find yourself on the wrong side of history,or worse, trending for the wrong reasons.

Yours in fury,

Coral Vincetti

Art with Deon and Amber- a Riposte to the recent Review

Art with Deon and Amber- a Riposte to the recent Review

To the Editor,

I am writing in response to your recent review of Art with Deon and Amber, in which my client, Mr. Deon Jakari was described as lacking “insight to art, literature, or music” This is not only inaccurate,it is a grotesque distortion of the truth, and frankly, an insult to the vibrant cultural life my client leads.

Deon is, in fact, an extraordinarily erudite man. Only last week he referred to Shakespeare as “the one who wrote all those long plays,” and he can quote, from memory, at least three lines of The Godfather. Once, in my presence, he correctly identified the Eiffel Tower in a photograph taken at night.

Moreover, Deon is not merely a consumer of art,he is a collector. You neglected to mention his extensive and carefully curated Panini football sticker archive, a collection spanning from the 1998 World Cup to the present day. Each sticker is housed in a custom binder, filed chronologically and organised by country. This is not mere ephemera,it is living history.

To portray such a man as culturally barren is nothing short of character assassination. I demand a full and public apology, along with a recognition of Deon’s contributions to the wider arts community,whether that be in the field of sports memorabilia, viral dance trends, or his recent TikTok series, “Guess That Famous Painting (But It’s a Capuccino Art Version).”

Until such an apology is issued, I will be advising my client to consider his legal options, or at the very least, to release a strongly worded video to his millions of followers, suggestion they boycott your company.

Yours,

Coral Vincetti

D.G. Management

TV review: Art with Deon and Amber

TV review: Art with Deon and Amber

There was a time when arts television was entrusted to scholars, critics, and people who had at least once been inside a museum without a selfie stick. Those days are gone. Now, in the grand tradition of letting algorithms decide who should speak for culture, Art with Deon and Amber has been handed to Deon Jakari and Amber Smith, a duo whose combined TikTok following eclipses the population of Belgium, but who would struggle to score any points in a pub quiz entitled “Very Easy Questions About Art.”

Deon is famous for his 30-second “History in Hats” videos, in which he wears historically inaccurate headgear and mispronounces monarchs’ names to great applause. Amber’s online empire is built on sped-up lip-syncs to famous speeches, occasionally with glitter filters. Their qualifications for hosting? The network insists their “reach” makes them “cultural ambassadors.” The culture they’re ambassadors of remains a mystery.

This week’s line-up began with a discussion of contemporary sculpture. Deon declared confidently that “bronze is basically just metal clay,” while Amber wondered aloud why Renaissance artists didn’t “3D print everything, because that’s faster.”

Yet each of them has one lone island of genuine expertise. Amber, it turns out, is a Crocs expert (the shoe not the animals). Deon meanwhile, is a human encyclopaedia on the subject of jeans and associated denims.

The bulk of the show was spent confidently misunderstanding whatever topic was at hand. A Francis Bacon retrospective prompted Giles to suggest “maybe paint was just bad quality back then,” while Amber mused that his “colour palette would look great on a yoga mat.” A symphony concert was reviewed entirely from the trailer on YouTube; Amber deducted points because “no one did the little TikTok hand heart.”

The closing interview, with a choreographer, reached a nadir with Giles asking, “Do you guys rehearse?” followed by Amber’s penetrating enquiry: “Would you ever add actual cats to Cats,” and refusing to believe that Cats wasn’t a ballet, though she did admit that she hadn’t “seen it for years.”

Art with Deon and Amber is proof that having millions of followers doesn’t mean you should present a TV Arts programme. The presenters lack insight to art, literature, or music. If culture is a cathedral, Art with Deon and Amber is the gift shop fridge magnet someone dropped in the gutter. The only thing Deon and Amber bring to the table is the table itself,because they certainly bring little knowledge to put on it.

Returning to the Submarine: Does “Three Minutes of Silence” Still Stand Up ten years later?

Returning to the Submarine: Does “Three Minutes of Silence” Still Stand Up ten years later?

By Jasper Clive

Felix Renton’s Three Minutes of Silence (2015) arrived like a whisper in the cacophony of documentary cinema: a 900-minute dive into the lives of submarine sonar operators, notable chiefly for its refusal to have its subjects utter even a single word. No narration, no interviews, not even a stray grunt,just endless, hypnotic shots of men staring at radar screens and listening for pings, punctuated occasionally by the drama of missile strikes.

At the time, critics hailed it as a bold experiment in sensory deprivation. Renton’s austere vision,his decision to strip away dialogue and conventional storytelling,was interpreted as a profound meditation on isolation, surveillance, and the invisible machinery of modern warfare. Its minimalism was praised as a deliberate counterpoint to the bombast of typical military documentaries.

But a decade later, Three Minutes of Silence invites a more tempered appraisal.

The Appeal of Nothingness

There’s no denying Renton’s technical prowess. The cinematography is impeccably composed, capturing the claustrophobic geometry of submarines with a patient, painterly eye. The sound design, dominated by eerie sonar pings and muffled mechanical hums, was said to be immersive,which it is, if you happen to be the kind of person who finds prolonged monotony soothing.

Yet, as the minutes drag on, it becomes increasingly clear that Three Minutes of Silence is less a documentary and more a prolonged exercise in endurance,both for the viewer and the filmmaker. The hypnotic pacing soon verges on tedious; the repeated shots of men adjusting dials and squinting at screens test one’s capacity for fascination with procedural minutiae.

Surviving a Missile Strike (Without a Word)

The film’s much-ballyhooed climax,a huge missile strike narrowly survived by the crew,unfolds in near-total silence, with no explanatory context or emotional cues. While this choice no doubt aimed to heighten tension through ambiguity, it instead leaves viewers grasping for narrative purchase.

Without dialogue or soundtrack to guide us, the sequence feels strangely muted,more like a slow-motion replay than a life-or-death event. The absence of human voices ironically renders the crew almost ghostlike, transforming what should be an adrenaline-fueled moment into a dispassionate tableau.

A Film for the Patient or the Pretentious?

Three Minutes of Silence poses two intriguing questions: One: can cinema convey meaning through absence? Renton answers with an emphatic yes,leading to the second question: even if it is full of meaning, does anyone wants to watch?

For cinephiles who cherish meditative, avant-garde approaches, the film remains a singular achievement. But for anyone expecting a gripping or informative glimpse into submarine life, the experience is likely to induce yawns.

Ultimately, Three Minutes of Silence feels like a film more concerned with the aesthetic of silence than with storytelling. It asks the audience to project their own drama onto blank screens and still faces, which can either be a liberating invitation or an infuriating void.

Does Three Minutes of Silence still stand up? In technical terms, yes,it’s a masterclass in visual minimalism and sound design. In emotional terms, it remains a daring experiment, but one that risks alienating all but the most devoted audiences.

In the end, it’s a film about listening so intently that you hear almost nothing,and for some, that might be just the point. I fear though for others it might simply be 900 minutes of missed opportunity.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Pimlico Wilde’s Head of Film Production: “Britain Needs More Home-grown Pictures”

Pimlico Wilde’s Head of Film Production: “Britain Needs More Home-grown Pictures”

Q: Lysander, hello. You’ve been described as “the ringmaster of Britain’s oddest cinematic circus.” How’s the tent looking these days?

A: Oh, the tent’s positively bulging, thank you. Hollywood can keep its endless reboots and beige blockbusters. We’re serving up films with flavour. This year alone, we’ve wrapped The Accordionist’s Revenge, a romantic thriller entirely set on the overnight ferry to Hull; Pigeons of the Raj, a period drama where the extras are mostly pigeons; and Cabbage Noir, a crime caper in which the murderer is unmasked in a Brussels sprout festival.

Q: Those sound niche.

A: Precisely! The mainstream has been sewn up tight by Hollywood. How did we get to a point where every British cinema is showing the exact same American films? Madness! Variety is the very soul of cinema. If audiences can’t choose between sci-fi opera, Latvian horror-romance, or a black-and-white mockumentary about the first fish-and-chip shop in space,what’s the point?

Q: Tell us about your past celluloid hits.

A: People still stop me in the street to talk about The Last Bus to Little Haven,that was a runaway success in Luxembourg. And Shepherds in the Mist, our Welsh-language eco-thriller, actually outsold Fast & Furious 9 in one rural Aberystwyth multiplex.

Q: And the future?

A: We’ve got Tea at the End of the World in pre-production,think cosy apocalypse with scones,and Harpist on the Orient Express, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Q: Anything else to add?

A: Yes. If there are any wealthy souls reading who’ve always secretly wanted to see their name roll up on the silver screen,especially on a project no one else would dare to make,get in touch. We promise eccentricity, creativity, and just enough commercial sense to keep the tea and biscuits flowing.

Drizzle to Empire TV documentary: How Bad Weather Built Britain’s Rule of the World

Drizzle to Empire TV documentary: How Bad Weather Built Britain’s Rule of the World

A Major New Twelve-Part Documentary Series Presented by Dr. Horatia Willoughby

Swagger Filmic is proud to announce an ambitious new landmark history series, Drizzle to Empire, in which acclaimed historian Dr. Horatia Willoughby (D.Phil., Oxon.) will argue her bold and provocative thesis: that the British Empire was forged not by trade, diplomacy, or military might, but by Britishers’ desires to escape Britain’s dreary skies and incessant rain.

Over twelve meticulously researched episodes, Dr. Willoughby will guide viewers on a sweeping journey from the sodden fields of medieval England to the sun-drenched colonies of India, Africa, and Australia. With characteristic erudition,and no small amount of wit,she will demonstrate how a people drenched by drizzle sought salvation beneath brighter skies, building the largest empire in history along the way.

Highlights of the series include:

Episode 1: “Clouded Beginnings” , How Saxon rains dampened crops and dreams, seeding an outward-looking temperament.

Episode 3: “Sodden Sailors” , The true meteorological motivation behind the voyages of Cabot, Raleigh, and Cook.

Episode 6: “The Sun Never Sets” , A literal expression of Britain’s search for the sunlight it so sorely lacked.

Episode 10: “Rain on the Raj” , Hill stations, monsoons, and the damp logic of colonial administration.

Episode 12: “Drizzle to Destiny” , A triumphant conclusion proving that without too much rain in those Isles in Northern Europe, there would have been no empire.

Filmed on location in London, Calcutta, Cape Town, Sydney, and Manchester, Drizzle to Empire combines archive material, cutting-edge climatological analysis, and Dr. Willoughby’s uniquely uncompromising scholarship.

Speaking about the series, Dr. Willoughby said:

“For too long, historians have hidden behind economics and politics. I shall show the public the true driving force of Empire: the drizzle that fell upon Britain’s weary shoulders. This is not just history,it is meteorological destiny.”

Drizzle to Empire will premiere in Spring 2026, with all twelve episodes immediately available to stream.