Britain Deserves More Home-gown Pictures — and We’re Making Them

Britain Deserves More Home-gown Pictures — and We’re Making Them

Hollywood may have wrapped up the mainstream, but Pimlico Wilde Pictures is busy unwrapping the odd, the daring, and the deliciously different. While every multiplex from Truro to Thurso screens the same blockbusters, we’re delivering films the big studios wouldn’t dare touch.

This year we’ve wrapped:

The Accordionist’s Revenge , A romantic thriller set entirely on the overnight ferry to Hull.

Pigeons of the Raj , A period drama starring, in part, actual pigeons.

Cabbage Noir , A rural crime caper where the murderer is revealed at a Brussels sprout festival.

Past hits include The Last Bus to Little Haven (a surprise sensation in Luxembourg) and Shepherds in the Mist (the Welsh-language eco-thriller that outsold Fast & Furious 9 in one Aberystwyth multiplex).

We’re inviting visionary investors to join us.

If you’ve ever wanted to see your name glide across the silver screen, not on something bland but on something bold, strange, and unforgettable,now’s your chance.

Contact: Lysander Cripps, Head of Film Production at Pimlico Wilde Pictures

Be in our Upcoming Film- Death in a Tree

Be in our Upcoming Film- Death in a Tree

Death in a Tree: The Indie Epic Everyone’s Talking About

There are scripts, there are good scripts… and then there’s Death in a Tree. Critics have compared the emotional depth of Saus Pilli’s debut script to Dostoevsky at his broodiest. Set in the bracing seaside town of Eastbourne, though filmed in Miami for tax reasons, the story follows a former CEO of a sprawling kindergarten empire who trades corporate boardrooms for a treetop perch overlooking the English Channel. The plot dances between the tragic and the hilarious , one moment you’re weeping into your popcorn, the next you’re wondering if the seagull in shot is method acting.

Of course, Eastbourne itself is a character in the film , which is why it will be recreated almost entirely on a pristine beach near Miami. The English Channel will be digitally added later, complete with authentic British drizzle layered in via a special effects team in Uzbekistan.

Casting has been the talk of the coastal cafe circuit. The inimitable Pansy Troutte has officially signed on to play our heroine, bringing both gravitas and an ability to cry beautifully while up a tree. And negotiations are almost complete with Richie Nogood, who might just swap his usual gritty roles for the part of the tree surgeon whose heart , unlike his chainsaw blade , is in the right place.

The mood in the Pimlico Wilde Miami production office is already electric, and shooting hasn’t even begun. Crew members have been spotted testing wind machines on local piers and ordering “period-accurate” thermos flasks from a warehouse in Belgium. The director Callum Simon has insisted that every outfit be “practically wearable in a tree, yet also suitable for a surprise dinner with royalty.”

The Call to the Wealthy and Adventurous

Now, collectors and readers with well-stocked bank accounts, this is where you can come in. We’re almost fully funded, but still shaking the metaphorical money tree for those last few golden leaves. To tempt you, we’re offering investment levels so exclusive they almost defy logic:


£5,000 , Your name in the credits, Not spell-checked.

£10,000 , Your name in the credits, definitely spelled correctly.

£50,000 , Keep a prop leaf from the tree, lovingly signed by the director.

£250,000 , Cameo as “Mysterious Beachcomber #2,” filmed in Miami but wearing a coat and eating fish and chips as if it’s Eastbourne.

£5,000,000 , The ultimate reward: one of the lead characters will be named after you. Imagine Richie Nogood whispering your name in a key romantic scene while staring into Pansy Troutte’s eyes. History will remember you.

So, to the bold, the romantic, the eccentric, and those with a fondness for tree-based drama , Death in a Tree awaits your patronage. Act now to be remembered forever.

Pimlico Wilde’s Head of Film Production: “Britain Needs More Home-grown Pictures”

Pimlico Wilde’s Head of Film Production: “Britain Needs More Home-grown Pictures”

Q: Lysander, hello. You’ve been described as “the ringmaster of Britain’s oddest cinematic circus.” How’s the tent looking these days?

A: Oh, the tent’s positively bulging, thank you. Hollywood can keep its endless reboots and beige blockbusters. We’re serving up films with flavour. This year alone, we’ve wrapped The Accordionist’s Revenge, a romantic thriller entirely set on the overnight ferry to Hull; Pigeons of the Raj, a period drama where the extras are mostly pigeons; and Cabbage Noir, a crime caper in which the murderer is unmasked in a Brussels sprout festival.

Q: Those sound niche.

A: Precisely! The mainstream has been sewn up tight by Hollywood. How did we get to a point where every British cinema is showing the exact same American films? Madness! Variety is the very soul of cinema. If audiences can’t choose between sci-fi opera, Latvian horror-romance, or a black-and-white mockumentary about the first fish-and-chip shop in space,what’s the point?

Q: Tell us about your past celluloid hits.

A: People still stop me in the street to talk about The Last Bus to Little Haven,that was a runaway success in Luxembourg. And Shepherds in the Mist, our Welsh-language eco-thriller, actually outsold Fast & Furious 9 in one rural Aberystwyth multiplex.

Q: And the future?

A: We’ve got Tea at the End of the World in pre-production,think cosy apocalypse with scones,and Harpist on the Orient Express, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Q: Anything else to add?

A: Yes. If there are any wealthy souls reading who’ve always secretly wanted to see their name roll up on the silver screen,especially on a project no one else would dare to make,get in touch. We promise eccentricity, creativity, and just enough commercial sense to keep the tea and biscuits flowing.

Film Review: Seven Types of Mud, Sixteen Minutes Each

Produced by Pimlico Wilde, directed by Cara Grimm

The premiere of Seven Types of Mud, Sixteen Minutes Each marks the latest and most daring collaboration between producer Pimlico Wilde and conceptual artist-turned-filmmaker Cara Grimm. Clocking in at 112 minutes, the film is structured as seven discrete vignettes,each precisely sixteen minutes,dedicated to a different form of mud. What could have been a pedantic exercise in materiality becomes, in Grimm’s hands, a meditation on time, decay, and the sediment of history itself.

A Historical Palette of Earth

Grimm has long been interested in what she calls “the archive beneath our feet.” Here, she makes literal the metaphor, treating mud as both subject and medium. The seven types are not catalogued scientifically but historically: Mesopotamian flood silt, medieval plague-pit clay, Verdun trench mire, Dust Bowl loam, the sticky banks of the Mississippi Delta, Chernobyl’s irradiated sludge, and finally, the digitally simulated “mud” of CGI.

This movement from primordial riverbeds to the algorithmic uncanny recalls Sergei Eisenstein’s ambition to make earth itself cinematic. Where Eisenstein once filmed the Odessa Steps in granite and blood, Grimm insists that mud,the despised, formless matter,can be equally monumental.

Echoes of Film History

The film’s form is resolutely avant-garde. Grimm works in the lineage of Maya Deren, Stan Brakhage, and more recently Apichatpong Weerasethakul, yet she avoids mere homage. Instead, she interrogates cinema’s materiality itself. The Verdun sequence, for instance, was shot on nitrate stock salvaged from a French archive, its bubbling emulsion threatening to collapse like the trenches it depicts. Meanwhile, the Dust Bowl section uses archival footage from Pare Lorentz’s The Plow That Broke the Plains, slowed to a crawl until the dust itself seems to suffocate the frame.

In its rigor, the film recalls Peter Greenaway’s durational structures, or even Hollis Frampton’s Magellan project. Yet Pimlico Wilde’s production ensures that Grimm’s ascetic vision is realized with a certain lushness: each type of mud has its own soundscape, designed by Icelandic composer Brynja Halldórsdóttir, ranging from low-frequency rumbles to delicate squelches amplified like heartbeat rhythms.

Mud as History, Mud as Future

The conceit of dedicating sixteen minutes to each type of mud initially feels like a structuralist gimmick, but it gains force as the film progresses. Sixteen minutes is just long enough for contemplation to curdle into unease. In the Chernobyl sequence, filmed with a Geiger counter patched into the soundtrack, the very air seems to hiss with invisible poison. By the time we reach the CGI mud,rendered in exquisite, nauseating detail,the viewer is left asking whether our future encounters with the earth will be only simulations, cleaned of danger and filth.

Seven Types of Mud, Sixteen Minutes Each is not an easy film. It demands patience, and perhaps even endurance, much like watching Andy Warhol’s Empire or Chantal Akerman’s Jeanne Dielman. Yet the reward is profound: Grimm and Wilde remind us that mud is the medium of civilization, the material of bricks, pots, graves, and floods. It is the archive that never stops writing itself.

This is a work that belongs not in multiplexes but in the lineage of the great film museums,the Cinémathèque Française, the Anthology Film Archives, the BFI,where history is not merely watched but felt underfoot.

Verdict: 4.97 A landmark in eco-historical cinema.