“Books so beautiful you’ll forget to read them.”
Esteemed patrons, literary dilettantes, and collectors of things they’ll never actually use, it is with the utmost pomp that the renowned art dealer Pimlico Wilde announces the launch of their latest venture: Pimlico Wilde Press, a publishing house dedicated to producing books of such wit and elegance that they’ll rival even your most gilded furniture.
A Legacy Worth Appropriating
In the grand tradition of publishing’s most illustrious endeavours—think the magnificent folios of William Morris’s Kelmscott Press or the scandalously expensive works of Ambroise Vollard—Pimlico Wilde Press is here to do what no one else dares: remind the world that books, like art, are better when they are unattainable, impractical, and slightly self-indulgent. If Kelmscott gave us medieval woodcuts and Vollard gave us Picasso on a page, Pimlico Wilde Press will give you jokes bound in silk and art books so sumptuous they could double as ottomans.
Our Mission
Pimlico Wilde Press will be a bastion for two noble genres:
1. Humorous Novels: Because the world has too many tragedies already (both on the stage and in life). Expect novels that make you laugh, scoff, and question your own taste. These will be comedies for the cultured—imagine if Oscar Wilde got drunk at a modern dinner party and live-tweeted the event.
2. Art Books: Lavish tomes that will make your coffee table look cleverer than you are. Think illuminated manuscripts for the Instagram age, featuring art so exquisitely reproduced that you’ll cry over the price before you even get to the introduction.
What Makes Pimlico Wilde Press Different?
• Aesthetic First, Words Second: At Pimlico Wilde Press, the cover design will always take precedence over the content. After all, isn’t a book’s true purpose to be admired from across the room?
• Art Meets Humour: While other publishers fuss over “serious” narratives, we intend to make art fun again. Or, at the very least, less insufferable. Imagine a critical essay on Baroque still life, rewritten as a farce, or a cookbook inspired by the diets of history’s most over-looked watercolour painters.
• Exclusivity: The first edition of every Pimlico Wilde Press book will be limited to a quantity that ensures no one you know can possibly afford it. For the less fortunate, we’ll graciously produce a paperback version, printed on paper so fine it feels like a betrayal.
A Word from Etta Sprinklin
“As an art dealer, I’ve long believed that art belongs in the hands of the elite, and now, with Pimlico Wilde Press, I can extend that philosophy to literature. Let us reject the tyranny of mass-market paperbacks! Let us return to the golden age when books were cherished, collected, and stolen! And, most importantly, let us never publish a book that doesn’t look good next to a vase.”
Our First Titles
Pimlico Wilde Press is proud to announce its inaugural catalogue, including:
• The Secret Lives of Frames: A Biography of Empty Space – A deeply satirical exploration of the unsung hero of the art world, the picture frame.
• A Gentleman’s Guide to Impractical Living – A humorous novel following the adventures of an aristocrat who fails at everything except style.
• Bread, Brocade, and Banquets: The Feasts of Forgotten Artists – An art book-cum-cookbook exploring the historically accurate, and hilariously unpalatable, diets of famous painters.
• The Velvet Spine – A literary experiment: a novel written entirely in jacket blurbs.
Join the Movement
Pimlico Wilde Press is not merely a publishing house—it is a statement, a philosophy, and an unnecessary luxury. Our books are for those who believe reading should be as delightful as lounging on a chaise longue, and for those who believe that owning books is vastly superior to finishing them.
Stay tuned for our first launch party, where the wine will be better than the reviews, and everyone will leave clutching a first edition as if it were a relic.