Death in a Tree: The Indie Epic Everyone’s Talking About
There are scripts, there are good scripts… and then there’s Death in a Tree. Critics have compared the emotional depth of Saus Pilli’s debut script to Dostoevsky at his broodiest. Set in the bracing seaside town of Eastbourne, though filmed in Miami for tax reasons, the story follows a former CEO of a sprawling kindergarten empire who trades corporate boardrooms for a treetop perch overlooking the English Channel. The plot dances between the tragic and the hilarious — one moment you’re weeping into your popcorn, the next you’re wondering if the seagull in shot is method acting.
Of course, Eastbourne itself is a character in the film — which is why it will be recreated almost entirely on a pristine beach near Miami. The English Channel will be digitally added later, complete with authentic British drizzle layered in via a special effects team in Uzbekistan.
Casting has been the talk of the coastal cafe circuit. The inimitable Pansy Troutte has officially signed on to play our heroine, bringing both gravitas and an ability to cry beautifully while up a tree. And negotiations are almost complete with Richie Nogood, who might just swap his usual gritty roles for the part of the tree surgeon whose heart — unlike his chainsaw blade — is in the right place.
The mood in the Pimlico Wilde Miami production office is already electric, and shooting hasn’t even begun. Crew members have been spotted testing wind machines on local piers and ordering “period-accurate” thermos flasks from a warehouse in Belgium. The director Callum Simon has insisted that every outfit be “practically wearable in a tree, yet also suitable for a surprise dinner with royalty.”
The Call to the Wealthy and Adventurous
Now, collectors and readers with well-stocked bank accounts, this is where you can come in. We’re almost fully funded, but still shaking the metaphorical money tree for those last few golden leaves. To tempt you, we’re offering investment levels so exclusive they almost defy logic:
• £5,000 – Your name in the credits, Not spell-checked.
• £10,000 – Your name in the credits, definitely spelled correctly.
£50,000 – Keep a prop leaf from the tree, lovingly signed by the director.
• £250,000 – Cameo as “Mysterious Beachcomber #2,” filmed in Miami but wearing a coat and eating fish and chips as if it’s Eastbourne.
• £5,000,000 – The ultimate reward: one of the lead characters will be named after you. Imagine Richie Nogood whispering your name in a key romantic scene while staring into Pansy Troutte’s eyes. History will remember you.
So, to the bold, the romantic, the eccentric, and those with a fondness for tree-based drama — Death in a Tree awaits your patronage. Act now to be remembered forever.
