Fine Art press releases

Vincent and the Van Goghs to release first single

by

Vincent and the Van Goghs are a band composed of art dealers who all met on the set of the I said Monet not Mondrian! reality TV programme. “We are an unusual mix of indie rock and swing, with a dash of rap as well”, explained frontman Scissors Coney, art dealer at Jones & Jones. “You might also notice some early medieval influences on some of our records – sometimes an emotion can only be expressed through Gregorian Chant.”

Membership of the group is fluid, but currently includes-

Scissors Coney – vocals and guitar – Head of Sporting Art, Jones & Jones, Cheltenham
Safah Pulle – drums and double bass – Director of Acquisitions, Simpkin Hodges, Bond Street
Armani Suoff – backing vocals, xylophone, triangle and bass guitar – Gallery manager, Ottimo Arte, Milamo
Edward Grunt – tamberine – Owner, The Grunt Gallery,

The title of the first single will be ‘Singing the Phthalocyanine Blues’ with a B side of ‘I like it, Caravaggio, but it’s a bit dark”.

London Street Photography – Frog

by

What a photograph! This is the sort of photo that photography was invented for. Has anything better been taken for years? The waiter, the diners, oh how I would like to be able to hear their conversation. How beguiling it is to see and yet be unable to share fully in the moment. How hard it is for us to watch such happiness, such wild abandon. And the frog! This is one of the few photographs from central London that features a frog, and what does it tell us except this: photographers, take more frog photos. The presence of a frog elevates the picture from Domenicino to Michelangelo. I have to have it!

Art Critic and friend of the artist Rubarbe Wenlock-Bobb

Pimlico Wilde to sponsor the English Pell Mell team

by

Pell Mell is not the sporting force it was a few centuries ago, but there are still pockets of the country where it is more popular than football, soccer and spin the Trencher combined. Pell Mell captain Rory Spittoon commented, “This is wonderful news, better even than the birth of my fourteenth daughter. With Pimlico Wilde behind us English Pell Mell will hopefully race up the international standings. We are currently thirtieth in the world, just behind Monaco and Bangladesh, but being the inventors of the sport we should be in the top two or three.”

Is Hackson Jollock the greatest artist ever?

by

Oh, the movement, the color, the sheer effervescence and joie de vivre. Hackson Jollock represents all that is magnificent in this late-capitalist millennium. Funded by the SAE to help push the envelope, Jollock is one of the artists mentioned in the Lavenham Art Society Gazette’s Hundred Artists under a Hundred living in Hounslow. Hackson has also won the prestigious Pig Portrait of the Year for an early figurative work simply called Pig. Sorry he is no longer doing animal portraits, but his latest action pictures are available, as are his interpretations of people.

#64
#68
#72

Hackson Jollock

No post found

Art Starter Collections – for newbie art collectors

by

If you’re new to the world of art collecting – why not order one of our Art Starter Collections and go from zero to art hero ASAP. Get four artworks ready to hang. We will take away all the difficult choices and deliver to your door artworks to start off your collection.

Art Starter Collection

Get a work by each of the following-

A photo by Jonners

An abstract by Ptolomy Bognor-Regis III

A portrait by Hedge Fund

An abstract P1X3L

Get in touch for details.

Death in a Tree – new indie film gets funding

by

Our first Indie film, called simply ‘Death in a Tree,’ has been green lit. Written by the newcomer Saus Pilli, it tells the story of a woman who resigns as CEO of a large kindergarten to build her dream house in a tree overlooking the Irish Sea. Covering the setbacks and challenges, as well as the good times as she falls in love with a tree surgeon who comes to chop the tree down. We are expecting critics to use words like brilliant, well-written, delightful, and phrases like You won’t see what’s coming, coming. Look out for Death in a Tree in cinemas this Autumn.

Pimlico Wilde pleased to announce new sitcom based on life in their art gallery: We know our Arts from our Elbows

by

In collaboration with GTV and Defort Films, life at the London art dealer Pimlico Wilde will be made into a sitcom with a first season of twenty-four episodes in production already. 

“Life in an art dealer is pretty much non-stop hilarity and laughter, so it is ideal for a sitcom. There has not been a sitcom set in an art dealership since the Fifties, when Your Painting or Your Life was broadcast. That only lasted for seven seasons and we have already signed up for ten seasons.”

As a taster we have been given the titles of the first few episodes.

  1. Whoops! Hanging Pictures is Harder than it Looks. A harassed gallerist accidentally hammers a nail through a renaissance masterpiece, an hour before the King is coming to buy the piece…
  2. It is by Monet! A collector is unsure whether the painting he has paid $450,000,000 for is actually a Monet. The gallerist assures him that it is and proves it by burning it quickly – Monet is known to have used very flammable paints…
  3. I though Julia and Donna were your wife and daughter? A misunderstanding leads to an artist having to paint portraits of a billionaire’s favourite hedgehogs…

In associated news, the FTV have announced that they will be reshowing the original episodes of Your Painting or Your Life saying, “Your Painting or Your Life is a wonderful look at fine art in the days of Dick Turpin. If the old series is well received we will be commissioning new episodes.”

Sports sponsorship – Chelsea Elephant Polo

by

Pimlico Wilde are pleased to announce their sponsorship of the Chelsea Elephant Polo team, starting with this weekend’s World Series taking place in Blackpool sur Mer. As part of the deal all the team members (human not elephant) receive a stunning artwork worth over £50,000 to hang in their stable.

Manager of the Chelsea Elephant Polo team, Ale Corbe says “Most elephant polo teams are sponsored by elephant food companies, but this sponsorship deal with Pimlico Wilde shows us to be at the cutting edge of Elephantine sports. Elephant polo is not an excessively expensive sport, but there are certain costs – you have to buy your elephant, transport it to England, teach it to play polo, etc, etc. So our players and supporters are well positioned to purchase Pimlico’s expensive fine art, especially any elephant-based pictures.”

At the announcement event Acting-CEO of Pimlico Wilde, Stevenson Rockett broke the world record for most Champagne bottles sabred in 90 mins. He commented, “Elephant polo is one of the great sports, worldwide more people follow elephant polo than football and basketball combined. The app Elephant Polo News is the most downloaded sports app in history. So we are honoured to be involved with elephant polo and hope to sell many works of art to poloists. I mean we hope to support elephant polo in Kensington and Chelsea, and see it grow, until it is – with our logo – on TV as often as less exciting sports like football.”

Pimlico Wilde publishing division launch party – great success, except for the theft

by
Pimlico Wilde publishing division launch party – great success, except for the theft

The launch party for the new Pimlico Wilde publishing division was a relatively quiet affair, with no more than three noise abatement orders issued during the seventeen hour event that welcomed stars of the fine art, publishing and sports world to our little townhouse/gallery/emporium in central London. It was only slightly overshadowed by the theft of Lady Hannibal’s Gold and diamond-encrusted straw, which she takes everywhere nowadays to use instead of the paper straws that turn to papier-mâché after two sucks.

Shannon Drifte, author of the North American best seller How to find Oil in almost any back garden broke the world record for number of books signed in one sitting, breaking the record set in Iraq by Hekan Al Bitte’s book Buy this book or get shot by the secret police. Managing director Rominee Plantonane announced the first roster of books that would be published by the imprint: “We have won the bidding war to publish QWERTY is not a Word, the new Scrabble-based murder mystery set in the high stakes world of both online Scrabbling and the Monte Carlo Scrabblathon by A.K.Seepe. And we have the rights to the upcoming catalogue raisonné of Bangladeshi micro-sculptor B.P. Rohingya whose work is so small that none of it has ever actually been seen. Not to mention tomes that will be the talk of London and New York, like 12th century Anglo-Welsh Duelling Customs and Footballers I have had my photo taken with.”

Writers with interesting book proposals in genres from Religion to Murder mysteries, Health to Sport or frankly any subject except for serial killer memoirs should get in touch.

We cannot publish any photographs from the event until the police deem the location is no longer a crime scene. If anyone is offered a gold and diamond straw they are asked to contact the police.