”My work is unique, but more and more students are asking me for advice. They are finding oil painting passé, and Lick art is the next big thing that they are turning to. What is it? The tongue is the most important organ in the body. To not use it for art for centuries is ridiculous. Anyone has a tongue, anyone can create Lick art. But very few people can master the medium.
Fine Art press releases
Gur Wallop gets funding for Vegan Lions project
One of the most forward thinking artworks in years has got the go ahead, with Gur Wallop’s Vegan Lions set to take the contemporary art world by storm. “Very pleased,” Gur said, “I’ve been planning this piece for ten years. It is high time that the lion population of the world became vegan. The journey there will be documented meticulously, and we will be showing the work in museums around the world.”
Wallop’s project is one of the few to marry lions, veganism and large-scale oil painting. “Every lion that converts to veganism for more than a week will be embodied in a full-size portrait. These will be available for collectors to buy, but only if they are vegan.”
Could you pass the caviar? Great new show at Hake & Little gallery
A wonderful evening at Hake & Little, a superb gallery on Lisson St run by the expert gallerist Potty Polstine. All of her shows are exquisite, but Paulo Deffer’s “Could you pass the caviar?” is a once in a lifetime experience. Eleven and a half paintings, all in the style of Rembrandt, filtered through Keith Haring, with a touch of El Greco, and, I felt, although not everyone agreed with me, just a soupçon of Jackson Pollock.
I’d like to show you a photograph, but Paulo is very protective of his work, and everyone who went into the gallery was forced to hand over their phones, which he then crushed using a rotary drill and a hired JCB. “My work can only be seen in person, in situ, a photograph does not do it justice.”
He is probably right about that as each piece soars into the eaves of the building, the largest being almost fifty metres square. Potty told us that she had had to have an upward extension to the gallery in order to fit the paintings in.
”My work is about the delays on the circle line,” Paulo explained, “Mixed with a sense of dread about the future of underground railways generally, and the Roma metro in particular. My Italian background, and the fact I grew up in Port Talbot enables me to really understand the threats, problems and issues that subterranean transport suffers from in the 21st century.”
We at Pimlico Wilde are very lucky to have poached Paolo from Hake & Little, and we will be proud to put on his next show. He says that he will move from painting into 3D work, with the working title of the show being “Fifty-six smashed iPhones.”
Classic Bin photo
Art critic Penelope St Jean writes…
This project by Oboe Ngua is one of those series of works that should be mentioned in the same breath as Rembrandt’s portraits, Michelangelo’s ceilings and even Billy Whaler’s epic paintings of asparagus spears from Suffolk allotments.
This particular photo is a classic of the series, an image where the ethereal beauty of the bin, qua bin, meticulously sits in an empty road, showing the links between human creativity and rubbish – trash to our North American friends. When you understand the aims of Oboe, this work is truly awe inspiring. I am certain that in the future – as long as a far-sighted museum purchases an entire edition – more people will visit and enjoy these bin photos than will visit the Sistine Chapel.
’But it’s just a picture of a bin,’ I have heard people say. What reductive madness makes people spout such nonsense. This is not just a bin, this is the classic, perfect, proto-bin, the bin of the people. This image shouts to us about the failings of democracy and the pained panic of so many 21st century endeavours. Any museum who doesn’t have this bin picture – or another from the series – on their walls asap, reveals themselves to be, in my opinion, not a serious gallery and I would advise boycotting them until they have a Binoto work in their collection.
Rishi Sunak – the Leaving Downing Street album
”The latest album cover from Carbine is a classic of the fine art album cover genre, a genre that he is swiftly making his own. With deliberate reference to covers by Nirvana, Slippery Hugh and The Swimming Pool Duo, Carbine has created a piece that sings with both political intrigue and Mediterranean holiday vibes. Not many artists can combine such diverse influences with such panache and sheer excitement but Carbine manages to sideswipe the viewer with his left field extravaganza.
Everyone who sees the cover is thrown into a pool of not just water, but realpolitik. Whose feet can we see, we ask, why are there only three feet? Has there been a terrible disaster? Yes – here Carbine cleverly refers obliquely to the failure of the Sunak government. But he does it with joy, with effervescence, with a delight in the political status quo and a desire for everyone to put their feet metaphorically in a pool – though the font of the album’s name makes it clear he believes this is illusory.”
Aphrodite Zimmerman, art advisor and collector of coffee shop cups.
Edition of 10
Watercolour artist and amateur rocket scientist Saki Pentona – “The art world is too parochial, too focused on earth”
“The art world is too parochial, too focused on the earth. I intend to be the first artist to exhibit on Mars. My work currently consists of my plans, designs and blueprints for space rockets, Mars houses and associated necessaries. Living on Mars will be a huge step forward for mankind, and my work will be at the forefront of the push to live on other planets. This will be a struggle, it will make Fitzcarraldo’s endeavours look like a stroll round Hyde Park, but I will be there, the first coloniser of Mars.”
Saki is currently designing the flag for his colony on Mars, and finalising the design of the space rocket which should launch from the top of Mount Snowdon in late 2025. Collectors who would like copies of his designs (signing an agreement not to use them to build their own space rocket) are welcome to purchase – proceeds will help finance the first Earth2Mars Rocket and colony.
Anyone interested in going to Mars with Saki should get in touch. For the test flight to the moon you will need your own space suit and a packed lunch.
Funding for Polly Romanesque automotive sculptural pixel art not forthcoming
No billionaires have come forward to finance Polly Romanesque’s artwork that required 64 Bentleys. Not to allow this to be a setback, she has decided to make the piece with 64 Range Rovers instead. That reduces the necessary finance by over half to merely £4 billion. If any collectors wish to get involved, contact Polly ASAP.
Pre-Pre-Raphaelites discovered by honeymooning hot air balloonist
Whilst crossing Eel Pie Island by hot air balloon for his honeymoon, one of our art advisors Felix Chowder discovered an enclave of fine artists working in a style that could only be described as Pre-Pre-Raphaelites.
“I immediately descended to a level beneath the clouds where I could, with my FarSight 5000 telescope, make out the canvases that these artists were painting. It was as if the art of the last hundred and more years was wiped away as I spotted masterpiece after masterpiece.
“I landed my balloon intending to purchase these marvels to sell at Pimlico Wilde. However the artists misread my intentions and, from the moment I touched terra firma did nothing save attempt to kill me. I escaped only through the quick thinking of my wife, who reignited the hot air balloon and flew away, with me dangling from a rope, attempting to avoid the sharpened paintbrushes being thrown at me.
“We are currently recuperating in Paris, but intend to return with a translator and purchase some of these pre-pre-Raphaelite paintings for the world to enjoy.”
Sad news from Oboe Ngua regarding the Binoto art project
“Friends, I have sad news to convey regarding my fine art project ‘All the Bins in the World,’ which has often been referred to in the media as the Binoto Project (a portmanteau of bin and photo). I was too optimistic when I calculated how many photos I could take in a day. Rather than 200, I can realistically only photograph 20 bins per day. By my calculations, at that rate it would take until I am 97 to photograph even all the bins in Europe.
“I know this is sad news for all those Collectors around the world who were hoping to buy one of my photos of their local bin. To them I apologise and say this. If you really want me to take a picture of your bin then get in touch. You have been wonderfully supportive and I want to help you out with a binoto.
“Otherwise, although the scope of the project is narrower than planned, I will be continuing snapping photos of bins in England. Next week I will be in Bath, if you see me do say hi.”
Pimlico Wilde to represent Antonia Stangarino
Pimlico Wilde are delighted to announce that we are to represent the contemporary artist Antonia Stangarino, famed for her early canvases of images of different kinds of salt granules.
More recently Antonia has devoted her time to creating delicate abstract sculptures made of chewing gum. We look forward to her first exhibition with us, provisionally entitled Chewing the Bud, which will feature sculptures made from her homemade chewing gum flavoured with Budweiser.
Collectors will want to get in early for this as we envisage the sculptures selling out fast.