Cave Selfies, Chicken Theories, and Dundee’s Moist Abstractions
Hosted by Saldo Caluthe & Tomas Sinke
Show Notes
This week, Art World Exposed takes you from the inky depths of prehistoric aesthetics to the foie gras of art historical scandal. Join Saldo Caluthe and Tomas Sinke as they spiral downward (both literally and intellectually) into caves, conspiracies, and curatorial calamity.
0:00 – Opening Remarks: Descent into the Sublime
Saldo opens by describing a recent expedition to the Grotte du Sans Wi-Fi, a remote cave system in southern France where he and a group of conceptual spelunkers took selfies in total darkness to confront the retinal void.
Tomas calls it “proto-Instagram, minus the dopamine.”
Saldo describes the sensation as “being liked by stalactites.”
5:50 – Photographic Segment: ‘From Below’
Listeners are invited to browse the companion photo series posted on the podcast’s website (warning: 87% of them are pitch black). Each photo is titled, somewhat controversially, with a Nietzsche quote and a French snack.
Favourites include:
• “When You Gaze Into the Abyss, the Abyss Gazes Into Your Fromage”
• “He Who Has a Why Can Endure Any Tartine”
11:18 – Historical Debate: Van Gogh’s Ear- A New Theory
Saldo and Tomas tackle a new, scandalously under-researched theory circulating in disreputable but charming circles:
Was it Paul Gauguin who chopped off Van Gogh’s ear – while drunk and attempting to carve a late-night chicken dinner.
Points discussed:
• A letter of admission recently found in a wine bottle behind a Toulouse urinal signed PG.
• Analysis of several daguerreotypes found in a ditch in Arles that appear to show a man with one ear receiving an apology from a well-dressed aesthete.
Art historian and fried-food theorist Dr. Loretta Smarms joins the show to defend the theory, citing psycho-culinary impulses in late 19th-century French painting. Tomas calls it “carving expressionism.” Saldo suggests a Netflix mini-series starring two confused but handsome actors who can’t cook.
22:43 – Gallery Visit: Dundee Gallery of the Sea – “Things That Shouldn’t Be Damp But Are”
Saldo visits Dundee’s most hydrologically adventurous art space, where curators have embraced “moisture as medium.”
Key highlights include:
• A collection of wet tweed jackets suspended in brine.
• A sound installation made entirely from recordings of disappointed snorkelers.
Local artist Morag C. Sponge gives a moving interview while wringing out her sculpture.
Saldo concludes the show is an act of Scots defiance and smells like old kelp — which is very current. “Any gallery of note wants to smell of old kelp at this time of year.”
34:50 – Theory Corner: Is ‘Art’ Now Just a Category for the Misplaced?
Saldo poses the question: “Is art simply what gets put in the wrong context and not immediately removed?”
Tomas attempts to answer via a long-winded anecdote about an ashtray, mortality and an astronaut that he met at Art Basel.
Saldo suggests a new term: Errt — accidental art.
43:00 – Listener Segment: The Aesthetic Helpline
Call-in from ‘Gallerina_Despair92’ who wants to know:
Is it still considered postmodern if my entire exhibition is just my CV projected onto a melting ice sculpture?
Tomas: “Only if the font is illegible.”
Saldo: “And the CV is falsified.”
50:05 – Closing Thought: Art, Accidents, and Other Delicious Mistakes
Saldo compares Gauguin’s alleged chicken-ear incident to the making of certain performance pieces.
Tomas reads a haiku he claims was found scratched into the back of a Rothko.
Together, they conclude that all great art only becomes great art when enough people on podcasts say it is great art.
Next Time:
Performance artist Gemima Klönk walks backwards through five continents to “reverse colonial timelines,” and we dissect a show in Oslo where curators refuse to show any art — just their personal insecurities printed on plexiglass.
