By Venetia DeCourcy
History was made last night at an exclusive auction in Monaco when the enigmatic artwork “Untitled (Probably a Fish)” sold for an eye-watering $3 billion, officially becoming the world’s most expensive artwork. The sale took place at the hyper-exclusive Black Glove Auction House, attended by art-world royalty, billionaires, and several people who claimed to be “just here for the canapés.”
The buyer, whose identity is shrouded in mystery but rumored to be either a tech billionaire or a crown prince, outbid a swarm of global elites in what was described as “the most intense bidding war since Van Gogh’s left ear sketch hit the market.”
The Artwork
“Untitled (Probably a Fish)” is the magnum opus of obscure Belgian conceptual artist Lars Van Der Klink. The piece consists of a single crumpled sheet of paper, reportedly salvaged from a seaside café in Ostend, onto which Van Der Klink scribbled a faint outline of what might be a fish—or, according to one critic, “the fleeting essence of despair itself.”
The artwork’s frame—a minimalist creation made of reinforced carbon fiber and ethically sourced Himalayan yak wool—was designed by Van Der Klink himself and has been hailed as “integral to the piece’s critique of human fragility.”
“Is it a fish? Is it not? That’s the power of the piece,” said noted art historian Claudia Beaumont-Grey. “It forces us to confront the ambiguity of existence, the frailty of interpretation, and, most importantly, our inability to understand what Lars was thinking.”
The Bidding Frenzy
The opening bid was set at a modest $50 million, but it quickly escalated as collectors and institutions vied for the honor of owning the enigmatic masterpiece. Witnesses described the atmosphere in the auction room as “electric” and “slightly unhinged,” with one bidder reportedly throwing their shoe in frustration after being outbid.
Auctioneer Lucien D’Argent, resplendent in a velvet tuxedo, milked the crowd with theatrical pauses and dramatic intonation. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is not just a fish—or not a fish—it is a moment. A cultural apotheosis.”
The final hammer fell at $3 billion, accompanied by a smattering of polite applause, gasps, and at least one audible “Are you kidding me?”
Reactions
The sale has sent shockwaves through the art world. Critics are divided, as always:
• The New York Art Lens called the sale “a landmark moment in the commodification of ambiguity.”
• Post-Canvas Review derided it as “a billion-dollar doodle.”
• Social media, predictably, erupted in memes, with hashtags like #ProbablyAFish and #MoneyLaundering trending within minutes.
Meanwhile, Van Der Klink, the artist himself, appeared bemused by the record-breaking sale. In a rare statement from his self-imposed exile in a yurt outside Brussels, he said, “I honestly forgot I made that one. But it’s nice that people like it, I suppose.”
The Legacy
With “Untitled (Probably a Fish)” now enshrined in art history, speculation has turned to its future. Will it be displayed in a public museum, as the auctioneer promised, or locked away in a private vault, joining the shadowy ranks of “art for no one”?
One thing is certain: the sale cements Lars Van Der Klink’s position as a leading figure in the conceptual art world, while also ensuring that “crumpled paper chic” will be the hottest trend in galleries worldwide for years to come.
For now, the world can only marvel at the staggering sum paid for a scribble on paper, and ponder the immortal question: Was it really worth it? Or, as Lars himself might say, “Is anything?”