Fearless innovator and film-maker, Hannah Gralle,yes, that Hannah Gralle of Citizen Kane versus The Vegetables fame,has announced her next project. And if you thought stop-motion brassicas emoting through Citizen Kane was the zenith of conceptual audacity, brace yourself: she is now turning her attention to War and Peace, performed entirely by items found in the “Lost Property” bin at Clapham Junction.
Early reports suggest Pierre Bezukhov will be played by a left-footed Wellington boot, while Natasha Rostova will be brought to heartbreaking life by a novelty pencil case shaped like a dolphin. The Battle of Borodino? Forty-six mismatched gloves moving in slow motion across a commuter platform. The peace treaty scenes will be enacted with mislaid Oyster cards.
Gralle insists the shift away from edible media is “not a retreat from the sensuality of food, but an exploration of the emotional residue of mislaid personal effects.” Translation: vegetables rot quickly and she has had it with the smell of decomposing courgettes in her studio.
Collectors will be delighted to learn that they can purchase the original “cast” members after the premiere. Prices will vary depending on the emotional weight of the item,one mitten with “Mum” stitched inside is already rumoured to have a reserve price higher than a Damien Hirst dot painting.
Naturally, the art world is divided. Some hail the move as a bold examination of loss, impermanence, and the hidden narratives of the everyday. Others suspect Gralle is simply working her way through a list of “Things That Can Be Anthropomorphised And Then Easily Sold to Collectors”.
This is the very highest of fine art and the TV presenter who dismissed it with the phrase “If only these items had stayed Lost and not been Found,” knew not what he was looking at. All sensible collectors will be scrabbling to buy one of the actors from the film. Personally I am after the silver salt cellar which plays Napoleon.