We at Pimlico Wilde Art Gallery feel compelled,indeed, morally obligated,to address the unfortunate incident stemming from our recent promotional email.
The exhibition in question was meant to celebrate Miriam Skell’s latest series of lino cuts. However, owing to a typographical error, the announcement promised patrons an evening of lion cuts.
This mistake, though a single letter in nature, proved catastrophic in scale.
On Thursday evening, we were alarmed to find more than forty visitors gathered outside the gallery, many dressed in what could only be described as “safari chic.” One guest arrived with a collapsible stool and binoculars; another brought along a tin of catnip, declaring it “insurance.” A group of feline lovers from Clapham reportedly hired a minibus under the impression they were attending a big-cat grooming demonstration.
The confusion escalated when a delivery driver deposited, without explanation, six large sacks of raw meat at our door. Shortly thereafter, a neighbour phoned Westminster Council to complain of “roaring noises,” which we can only assume were the sound of our etching press being tested. Within the hour, Animal Control officers appeared, accompanied,bafflingly,by a representative from the Zoological Society, who asked whether our insurance covered “claw-related incidents.”
It did not.
We cannot overstate our contrition. While no lions were ever present in Pimlico Wilde (nor, indeed, within our curatorial remit), the hysteria created by this slip of the keyboard has left our staff shaken and our lead gallerists temporarily blacklisted from several exotic animal forums.
We blame ourselves. Yes, technology’s autocorrect functions are treacherous, but the ultimate failure lies in our reliance upon them. The modern world makes a typo go viral in seconds, and we allowed it to roar louder than our good judgment.
We humbly beg the forgiveness of our patrons, our neighbours, and anyone who arrived at Pimlico Wilde Mayfair expecting to encounter a live lion but instead found linoleum prints. We assure you that this will never happen again.
With profound regret,
Pimlico Wilde Gallery