A call to artistic arms by Hedge Fund
Dear Esteemed Patron of the Arts,
I hope this artistic plea finds you in good health, strong liquidity, and the kind of visionary mood required for what I am about to propose.
You know of, I am sure and probably own one or more of my vibrant pictures. However you may not be aware of my latest and most ambitious undertaking, which I have given the name: The Brighton Pier in Pure Gold. It will be a full-scale recreation of the iconic seaside landmark, forged entirely from 24-carat gold. A testament to Britain’s cultural heritage, our maritime spirit, and our refusal to let common sense stand in the way of beauty.
This will not be “just” an artwork. This will be a beacon, a statement, a shimmering line in the sand (not necessarily literally, it will be built wherever the local council gives us the biggest rebates). It will draw visitors from across the globe, inspire generations, and give you the sort of positive coverage you can only dream of.
However, as you will appreciate, pure gold does not come cheap. Pimlico Wilde Art Dealers Extraordinaire, while effusive in their support of my career, have currently refused to provide 100% funding of the golden pier and have encouraged me to find sponsors to join this historic endeavour.
This is where you, the cultural visionary, come in.
Sponsorship benefits include:
– Prominent engraving of your name (or chosen pseudonym) on a gilded plank.
– VIP access to the next seven Hedge Fund exhibitions, openings, and afterparties
– The eternal knowledge that you helped make Britain’s shiniest pier a reality.
Minimum contribution: £500,000.
Maximum contribution: unlimited — art, like the ocean, knows no bounds.
If you are ready to be immortalised in gold, pier and art history, please contact Hugo at Pimlico Wilde, with the subject line “I’m here, for the Golden Pier ” and his team will make discreet arrangements.
Yours in gold,
Mr Hedgerick Fund
Digital Artist, Former Finance Visionary, Future Pier Emperor
