Only Vincent and the Van Goghs could turn the roof of the National Gallery into the hottest stage in London. Last night, with Nelson refusing to turn round and dance, thousands of fans packed into Trafalgar Square, the art-dealers-turned-rockers proved they’re no longer just a quirky novelty act; they’re a full-on cultural happening.
From the moment Scissors Coney struck the opening chords of Girl with a Pearl Earring (and a Fender Strat), the crowd was theirs. Below, the fountains shimmered under the stage lights, while Safah Pulle’s double bass thumped a heartbeat that could be felt all the way down Whitehall. Armani Suoff moved between bass and xylophone like a curator flitting between masterpieces, adding harmonies that made even the pigeons stop mid-flight. Edward Grunt’s tambourine was, as always, an event in itself.
The setlist was a tour through their increasingly bizarre yet irresistible catalogue. Cubist Love Song chopped time signatures into angular shards, Kiss Me Like I’m Klimt dripped with swing-infused sensuality, and Starry Night in C Minor spiralled from Gregorian chanting into a rap verse that somehow rhymed “Van Eyck” with “mic check.”
Midway through, Scissors introduced their new number Minimalism (This Song Is Just One Note), which, against all odds, had thousands in the square clapping along to a hypnotic, near-silent groove. The encore, The Persistence of Memory (and Also This Bass Line), saw the entire crowd swaying, singing, and shouting the chorus into the night air, as Big Ben chimed in the distance like an honorary band member.
It was more than a gig, it was a public artwork in motion, a temporary installation of joy, rhythm, and art history references that would baffle anyone without a Tate Modern membership.
Rating: ★★★★★
For fans of: Talking Heads, swing-era Count Basie, and the notion that a song called Mona Lisa Smile (Because She’s Heard the Bass Drop) could actually work.
